Follow these simple practices to ensure that you will live in constant harassment from the devil. Those already following these procedures can attest to this.


Fight him!

This is probably the best method of ensuring defeat. Put the devil on notice that you will fight him as hard as you can. He will be pleased to hear this from you, rather than hearing that Jesus already defeated him for you and that you have authority over him in Jesus' name. Act like you are in a great battle, rather than believing that the fight is over and that Jesus won it for you. Fight the devil instead of fighting the good fight of faith (1 Tim 6:12).


"Come against" him

Do not actually command the devil to leave or stop doing anything. Simply repeat the prayer, "Devil, I come against you in the name of Jesus." Or substitute any other spirit you want. "We come against the spirit of _____ (insert your favorite spirit here) in the name of Jesus." He has no idea what "coming against" him is (and neither do you), but as long as you don't actually issue any direct commands to him, he will be content to let you "come against" him as long as you want. Do not follow the examples of Jesus and the apostles, who simply made demons leave because they were too old-fashioned to pray a "we come against you" prayer.



Pray at the devil in tongues

Use your prayer language to speak mysteries in the spirit to the devil. He won't understand a word you say, but he'll be happy to listen. After rebuking him in English, unleash a quick barrage of "fear tongues" at him to make sure that he doesn't get back at you for it. The devil enjoys it when you pray to him in any language, since the Bible nowhere tells you to pray to the devil at all.


Make principalities leave your city!

Waste as much time as possible in prayer against demonic strongholds over your city, thinking that you are doing some great thing that will precipitate revival. Be sure to tell every principality to leave your municipality. Since they're going to go somewhere, maybe you can suggest a nearby city with less praying people, so that they won't pray them back over to your city. Since you have this wonderful revelation of being able to make wicked spirits leave geographical areas, next command the ruling spirit over your entire state or province to leave. Then command the ruling spirit over your country to leave. Then command the ruling spirit over your continent to leave. Then command the ruling spirit over your hemisphere to leave. Finally, command the biggest ruling spirit of all, Satan, to leave the planet entirely. See if he will give up his legal right to be here (courtesy of Adam) in answer to your prayers. Maybe his less knowledgeable cohorts will give up their legal right to be here, too.


This will show that you know more than Jesus or his apostles, since none of them ever commanded a demon to leave an area. (They only cast spirits out of people because they didn't have as much revelation as you do.) It will also give the spirits involved, at least the ones that really exist, a good laugh, which they could use, since their final doom is getting closer every day.

Pray fervently and repeatedly for the darkness to leave, rather than bringing in the light (by sharing the gospel), which wipes out darkness automatically.


Pray through the demon layer

Determine that the demons that stopped Daniel's prayers under the Old Covenant won't stop yours! Pray and pray until you feel like you have broken through all the above-mentioned principalities (the ones you haven't banished to Jupiter yet). Wait for a feeling that tells you that God has finally heard your prayer. Avoid any Bible statements about God living in you or being seated with Christ in the heavenly places, as this might nullify your faith in the demons' ability to stop your prayer from reaching God or his answer from reaching you.



Insult him

Rail on the devil for being a low-down, no good, rotting, stinking, cheating, hypocritical, filthy, perverted, lying ripoff artist. The more epithets you sling at him, the better he will like it. He will enjoy the fact that you have not read or acted on Jude verses 8-9.

Ignore Jude, who didn't have your new revelation about this, and act as "macho" as you can with the devil. He will appreciate the fact that the time you spend insulting him is not being used for any productive purpose.


Praise God at the devil

Rather than using your praise to please and honor God, use it as a tool by "praising God at the devil." Sing to Satan. You could start with some "militant praise" songs about following God's command to Joshua to take the land. (Bring your Uzi, since God told Joshua to kill all the inhabitants while taking the land.) "Use your praise" to "open heaven" above you, so that your prayers don't get stopped by the demon layer (see above). Whatever you do, make sure that you think more about the devil than you do about God. This is important, because if you focus on being in God's presence, you might forget about the devil for a while. Instead, focus on being in the devil's presence, and forget about God for a while.


Better still, leave God completely out of it and sing one of those modern "worship" songs that addresses the devil directly instead of God. Raising your hands and closing your eyes when you do this makes it even nicer (for the devil). If you can't bring yourself to do that, at least just sing songs about how great we are and how nice our praise is and what it's doing, rather than actually praising God.


Give whiny devilmonies in church

Declare to your brothers and sisters in Christ how big and bad you think the devil is. This will inspire them to have faith in the devil equal to yours. "The devil is making me sick!" "The devil is keeping my money away!" Continually confess what you are allowing the devil to do to you so that others may allow him to do the same things.



Pretend he isn't there

Just stick your head in the sand and ignore him, hoping he'll go away, rather than watching out for him and actively resisting him as you are commanded to do in 1 Peter 5:8-9 and elsewhere.


Pray to God about the devil

Rather than resisting the devil yourself so that he will flee from you (James 4:7), ask God to make the devil go away! Attempt to apply the promise of God rebuking the devourer for your sake (made about tithing in Malachi 3:11 to people with no direct authority over the devil) to every area of your life under the New Covenant. To play it safe, don't tithe to your church, just to be sure that Malachi 3:11 can't possibly apply to you.



Become more devil-conscious than God-conscious

Be sure to pay more attention to "this present darkness" than you do to "this present Jesus," "this present Holy Ghost," "this present victory," "this present anointing" or "these present angels" (who are stronger than demons and can defeat them handily). Ignore John's statement that you have already overcome opposing spirits (1 John 4:4). Instead of thinking on things that are "true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, praiseworthy" (Philippians 4:8), spend your time thinking about Satan and his demons, who are liars, ignoble, unjust, impure, ugly, of bad report, sinful and criticismworthy.



Blame the devil for everything

When you get a flat tire, rebuke that flat tire demon. Then be sure to buy new tires, since experience shows that new tires have a spiritual force about them that repels flat tire demons. Be sure to blame the devil when you bang your head or get a smaller income tax return than you expected. Constantly acknowledge his presence in your life so that he will feel at home with you. Talk with him frequently; he enjoys conversing with Christians who allow him to do so.

See also:

How to deal with the devil